i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
