If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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