Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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