Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
My balls are so social today.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
