sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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