We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
