Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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