The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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