Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
