Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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