Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He passed out mid-signature
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
