I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
i drank out of a bidet.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
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