you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
