Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
