Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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