so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
True strength comes from lack of pants
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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