then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
where does the pee come out of this thing
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
