Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
