i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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