People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
