I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
