I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
