So drunk its hurt
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
