it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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