The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
