I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
