So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
