RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
