we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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