and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
