I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
