hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Help. Why am I so naked?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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