okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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