3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
