We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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