Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
