Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
