Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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