I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude i'm inner monologue high
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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