His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
