if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
why do cheetos always look like penises
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
