Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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