I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
