Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
