Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Holy sore nipples Batman
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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