No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
