Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
