so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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