i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Randomize
