Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
