How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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