If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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