so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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