i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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