Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
