I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
